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"Dear Wounded" Song From 2010

Today I'd like to share a song I wrote in 2010. I was collaborating with a band named Smashcan at the time, and they were sincerely cons...

Knowing Put My Mind at Ease

Just knowing what is wrong with me has put my mind and everything at rest. There is no feeling worse than knowing that you are extremely ill but not knowing exactly what the problem is. Anyway, I was wrong. It wasn't my heart, and it wasn't my thyroid.  Thank goodness I didn't get a chance to start eating to treat my thyroid. Many of the foods that one would eat to try to treat thyroid issues could actually mess up their kidneys. That is what my problem is. I have renal failure. Yeah, I have documentation, but if you want to see that, you'll need to contact me personally.

Lol, I had a conversation with my Uber driver on the way. We were trying to figure out what was wrong. Driver thought it might have been my thyroid, too. That massive weight gain is what made that person think thyroid because the person had a relative who suffered from such. Well, we were both wrong. I actually did think of my kidneys for a second after I saw my pee-pee yesterday, but then I dismissed the idea.

I thank the Heavenly Father that there were some people around who really wanted to help others. It was an organization, and I have to say that I don't know what I would have done if they were not there to help. Somebody was looking out for me.

This is only the first part of my journey, though. The second part is finding out how serious it is, what stage, etc. It could be something that can reverse with a little treatment, and then it could be something that will not reverse. I had to take further testing. So I get to be home while I am waiting for results. I'll find out more later.

I still feel like utter crap, but my mind is at ease. I'm not crazy or pregnant. I knew I wasn't either one, but the appropriate tests needed to reflect it so that others would know, too. Kidneys just acting up is all. 

I'm going to try to work while I have some energy. Work didn't go too well last night. I was nauseous and tired. I even tried to use a program to type my words for me so that I wouldn't have to sit up, and I fell asleep doing that. I have been falling asleep on my work projects for a long time because of the lack of energy. That's why I got "demoted." I made too many mistakes from falling out on the projects. That kind of stinks, but what can you do?

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