The world's holiday season has started, and I have to say that I've been feeling pretty crappy. I don't miss celebrating the holidays at all. In fact, I'm thrilled that I don't participate in them, especially Christmas. There's something unholy about all the expectations and perceived financial obligations that people have at such a time.
What I do miss is the gathering aspect of it. I miss having "loved ones" around. It's going to be rough for me as it gets closer to these times because my household is currently solo, and there isn't a "loved one" around for hundreds of miles. I'm starting to get a hint of the blues. One of my coworkers said something uplifting the other day, though, when I was talking about my holiday blues. This person said, "We're your family." I thought about it for a minute, and then I said, "I guess you're right." People do spend most of their time with their coworkers, and some of them get stuck working the holidays with their coworkers too. I guess in that sense, our coworkers are our families. They aren't perfect family members, but neither are our blood relatives.
But enough about work. I think the above text is all I'm allowed to discuss about my job and the folks there other than the technical stuff. I shall obey the rules of social media engagement.
I've been thinking about all the years of my life, and I think 2019 might just be the absolute worst of them all. It started like it was going to be a good year, but it was actually quite poopy (I don't like to cuss). I had a good major life event, and then eight months later, I had a bad major life event. Then I started seeing a little sunshine and feeling alive again only to find myself a little disenchanted later on. It was just a bad year, but I guess if I compare it to the other years, maybe it wasn't so bad. Or perhaps it was. Let's see:
- Finalized nine-year-long lingering legal process
- Got an awesome new job that I'm still at today
- Finally got approved for an apartment
- Finished that solo head gasket job I was working on
- Drove the fixed car around and became known for fixing it
- Got a new car later because it was time for one
- Made a full recovery from random kidney failure
Hmmm. 2018 was pretty good.
- Made a few friendships that kind of fizzled out over time
- Worked a few random jobs along with my writing self-employment
- Lived in a not-so-nice place
- Got bit by a group of angry ants in the parking lot
- Almost died from random kidney failure. I'm starting to think it somehow had to do with the ants and my allergies.
- Car broke down
- Had to change head gasket with failing kidneys, frozen shoulder, and crushing chest pain
- Got closer to God while dying
2017 was very scary.
- Moved to a new area
- Had a difficult time adjusting
- Stayed in my room most of the time and wrote articles for pay
2016 was pretty blah.
- Went to Key West for the fourth time
- Traveled all over Florida with my son
- Lost my son (physically and emotionally)
- Had nobody but God for comfort
2015 was heartbreaking and soul-crushing.
I guess 2019 wasn't as bad as 2015, but it sucked. I hope things start to look up for me in 2020. `