Keep Your Heart Open


Heartache is a tricky thing, and human beings are not very good at handling tricky things. Some people try to help by telling you it'll get better or saying things like, "It just wasn't meant to be." Some people will try to "help" you by reiterating how much the other person didn't care about you, as if you didn't already know that. Some people try to exercise tough love by telling you to "Just get over it." Unfortunately, heartache doesn't work that way. It's not a light switch that we can shut off whenever we want to "get over" it. It's not anymore possible to force a heart to mend than it is to force a broken leg or a surgical incision to heal. The heart goes through the same stages: pain (tears), swelling (anger), oozing (depression), puss (more anger and self-blame), scabbing (acceptance), and eventual scarring and then healing.  

It doesn't matter if the other person was a saint or a cheater, liar, thief, jerk, narcissist, a-hole, or some other type of unscrupulous individual. Rejection always feels the same. No, as a matter of fact, sometimes rejection from a "bad" person feels worse because deep down we know it's someone who didn't even deserve our love in the first place. So then there's the double whammy of being disappointed in ourselves too, for letting such a wicked person hurt us. We feel stupid for being kind to someone who had a heart of coal and naive for believing they could ever love us. It's pretty painful stuff. 

No matter what the situation is, heartache is still on the table after it's all said and done. The people who get left behind are the people who have to deal with it. No one can tell them how long to take to heal. No one can tell them to "Just get over it." It'll happen in time. One should never try to force the heart to heal before it's ready.

To the brokenhearted people, including myself, I say this: Don't rush to "get over it," but don't wallow in it forever either. Every minute of your life that you spend hurting over someone who broke your heart is one less minute you get to enjoy life. Do what you gotta do. Eat ice cream. Watch movies. Exercise. Cry and then laugh. But always keep your heart open. You will meet your other half one day, and that person will need access to that beautiful heart of yours. Don't let unappreciative people and bad seeds make you shut yourself off from true love. They'll win if you do. 

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