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One-Sided Friendships and Relationships Afterthoughts




I watched a video earlier that presented some questions to ponder about one-sided friendships and relationships.

I'll have to agree that every person isn't a "bad person" if they don't want to be friends with you or date you. They're not even always bad people if they don't hold you as valuable as you hold them. But sometimes they are, haha. You have to consider whether we're talking about regular people or narcissistic people in these situations.

I've had really tight "ride or die" friendships that just fizzled out over the years. People moved, or their lives changed, and the contact just got less and less. It was no one person's fault, and our journey as friends just ended. I've had relationships that ended too, but I still maintained a friendship with the person. Other times, there was no post-relationship friendship because too much hurt had been dished out. 

Then there are the neediness and personality trait factors. Hmmm. I'm sure I have personality traits that aren't attractive, just like other people have personality traits that aren't attractive to me. I probably could work on some aspects of my personality.

Neediness? That's kind of a weird topic. I pretty much learned to be very self-sufficient, independent, and self-reliant because I had to. I can do just fine by myself. However, perhaps I do come off as needy when I have deep feelings for someone. I require a certain amount of care and communication. If wanting to talk a few times a week or on some kind of regular basis is needy, then I guess I'm needy. If wanting to spend quality time with a friend or partner is needy, then that's me, too. Yup. I do require those things, and I received them with no problems in former relationships. Thus, If I'm "too needy," I don't know anything about it. 

I never, ever, ever, ever chase a person down, though. Ever. In fact, I'm probably the last person to chase someone, just for utter fear of being rejected or feeling like I'm "bothering someone." If I reach out more than once without getting a response, then I probably like the other person a hell of a lot. There will not ever be a third time.

So yeah, I'm not the one who's going to call someone five or six times or beg them to be bothered with me. Nope. Definitely not gonna chase someone who frequently forgets I exist. I'm more likely to stop fooling with them if they don't meet my requirements. Our intentions and goals don't match up. Normally, there won't be any hard feelings about it. But if the individual we're talking about is an emotional abuser, then yes, there will be hard feelings about it. 

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