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Music, Lyrics, and Collaborations


I was very tempted to cut the song down to 1:20 and leave it at that, but I came up with another idea: a self-collab. That's when you pretend you're working with another artist, and you jump into the next verse with a different flow. I think maybe I got bored with the same flow after a while. Next! 

They're all old-school flows, BTW. They're just varied. To be honest, I can't even do a "new school" or "mumble" flow because I don't comprehend it at all. I can do a "lazy" or slowed delivery, but I still use comprehensible and complete sentences that actually mean something. 

That's one of the major differences between older Hip-Hip and a lot of the new stuff. We were lyricists, poets, prophets, and messengers first and performers second. Now it's all about the beat, flow(?), and crazy-ass autotune hyperdrive, but no one even knows what these people are saying half the time. 

What's scary is that no one cares anymore what the lyrics are. Someone could literally rap to them to jump off a bridge, and they'd be like, "Ya!" "Hate yourself and your people!" "Yo!" "Do drugs till you go into cardiac arrest!" "Chyeah!" "Jail is cool!" "Ay! "Treat all women like garbage!" "Ya!" "Transform into a snake!" "Yooo!"

Please help me understand. 

The lyrics matter because they're the part of the song that feeds your mind. Then your mind shapes your thoughts, and your thoughts shape your actions. Long story short, your soul will be garbage if you constantly dump trash into your mind. 

Music is a powerful element as well. I'm not saying it isn't. The beat and sound can affect your mood and such. But if you ignore the lyrics, you might get subliminal messages you don't even want. You don't have to understand what they're saying to absorb those messages, either. 

Music and lyrics put together can be a healing or damning combination. Marinate on that concept for a while. 

This is not to say that all of my songs were "positive." They certainly weren't, especially the older stuff I wrote when I was going through the worst emotional torment in creation. I'm no saint in artistry or real life. But I hate to see good music get faded out by nonsense and wickedness. 

At any rate, I will go back to the music box later to try to drop the end of my song. Then I'll see if I like it. If not, I'll go with the minute piece. The song is basically an intro to me as a mature artist. It would probably be a great first track to an entire album. 

I might be down for some collaborations, but I might not be. I have to really think about it. Collabs are cool, but then I run into problems sometimes when I want my stuff taken down, and someone else insists on repeatedly putting it back up there. That's why I prefer to work with me, myself, and I. Then, I have the legal grounds to get my attorney involved (my job connected me with one) if my rights are violated because no one else owns any aspect of those tracks. 

But when I do a collab, we are both listed as copyright owners (because I am honest when I file). So that other artist has rights, even though I might not like what he does with the material I wrote, performed, and arranged. It kind of turned me off to future collaborations. I worked with many artists in the past, like producers, beatmakers, rappers, singers, etc. Only one person behaved in an asinine way, but that was enough to turn me off from working with other people. I think I'm good unless the next "collaborator" comes at me with some cash and a contract for my time and work.    

Sometimes You're Just Done/ Jalapeno Chips

These chips are the very first certified gluten-free jalapeno chips that have that FIRE I like. They're good, too. Most jalapeno chips (all) have a tame taste or are punked down for those who can't handle the heat. No, these are actually hot, and they're good, and they don't have any gluten. I hope they keep stocking these up. 

I've been listening to the song all day to see if there's anything I feel like I need to change. I like it exactly the way it is, and I'm seriously considering pulling a Method Man/Redman and leaving it at 2:00 or even cutting it down to 1:38. I can totally do that if I want to. 

Sometimes, you're just done, and there's nothing more to say. Other times, you find more words and pizzazz after you go back into the music box. It just depends. I have one or two short songs that are only 2.5 minutes. Most of the stuff is at least three minutes long, though. 

We'll see. The cool thing about being unpaid, unsigned, and non-mainstream is that you can do whatever you want. You can write whatever message you want people to hear and be as genuine as you like. You can perform in whatever genre you choose instead of being confined to a certain limited box because of your skin color or the way you look or such. I love Hip-Hip and R&B, but I also love Rock, Pop, Alternative, and so on. I like having the freedom to choose whatever I want.

You can arrange a song any way you like. You can make it 27 seconds long or eight minutes long if you want to. You can spit one long verse and no chorus, four choruses and no verses, or you can do a traditional arrangement. It's yours. 

You get the picture. There are no assigned personas. There are no agendas. No deadlines or pressure or anything. You get to just enjoy creating music. Of course, there probably won't be much money in it that way, but that's okay. I am an artist, so I enjoy my work, even if not a single person is listening or buying. 

Not sure how the new project is going to end up. Maybe it's meant to be short. Maybe I'm done. I won't be able to tell until tonight. 

Yes, the Music Inspired Me to Make Music


I spent about eight hours in my music box and stopped just now. I just couldn't do anymore. My brain was tired. I wanted to finish everything tonight, but that just doesn't work. It's never a good idea to rush a song because then it won't be the best it can possibly be. I did that a lot in the distant past and got a lot of songs that could have been much, much better. 

This one is fire, and if I'm saying my own song is fire, it is fire, at least to me. I am the cruelest, coldest, and worst critic of my own stuff. So if I like something, that means it sounds like something I'd seriously want to listen to. 

It is old-school Hip-Hop fire. It's not even the song I was originally working on. It's some new ish. Just came to me. I think people will like the flow. I'm definitely not any kind of old, washed up, or done with my music in any way. Yep. Old-school. I never adapted to the new "rap" movement and never will, lol. Eff 'em. 

I've been avoiding whole Hip-Hop songs lately because they're more work than other types of songs. So many words have to fit into three minutes of time. Like I said before, other genres are easier because you can stretch one word or phrase out for a very long time if you want to, haha. Can't really do that when you rap. 

Anyway, the first verse was fire. The chorus was fire. Then the second verse got corny. That's how I knew I was tired, and I needed to stop. I was like, "Yeah, no. Shut it down." I start saying whatever when I don't feel like making anything else up. No rush. I can go back in there tomorrow if the Lord is willing. I'm exhausted. Even if I did finish it, I would have had to do countless hours of vocal cleaning and mixing and so forth. To hell with all that. I'm going to bed.  I really pushed it. I only had a little bit of track left to cover, but like I said, so many words have to fit into that thang. 

The Next Morning

8:45: Listened to the song again when I first woke up to see if it was still fire. Sometimes, I listen to songs after I sleep on them, and I'm like, "What the hell????" Then I scrap them. It happens. 

Nope. Still fire. 

Song of the Week: Method Man and Redman's "Da Rockwilder"


We're going to go old-school with the song of the week this time. I've been watching "Wu-Tang: An American Saga" series lately and have been enjoying the backstory. In the last episode, they were all on a ferry ride trying to squash all their differences for the greater good of the music movement. It was difficult for RZA to make all that happen, but he had some help from his brother and one of his brother's best friends. 

A guy was playing the violin on the ferry, and I loved it! The violin is one of my favorite instruments. I use violins and cellos in my music whenever I can. Sadly, I can't play either of them for crap. I had better luck with the guitars and keyboards. I kept listening to that violin solo thinking, "Dang, that would go great in a Hip-Hop song!"

I found out later that the violin solo was from their song "Reunited." I had never heard Wu-Tang's Song "Reunited" before, so naturally, I had to listen to it. It's good, though it's explicit like most of their stuff is. I can't say that Wu-Tang Clan isn't a part of my history. It totally is, and I listened to them and liked them a lot. They had many members, but I always liked Clifford a.k.a Method Man the best. He had the perfect voice, and I thought his flow was killer. His voice and flow got better as he aged, too. ODB had good songs and bad songs. His flow was killer in songs like "Protect Ya Neck," but then he was a little too explicit and off the wall in some of his other songs for me. He was still a very talented artist who will never be forgotten. I think I liked Inspectah Deck, U-God, and some of the others, too, but Method Man was my main man. 

Listening to the "Reunited" instrumental makes me feel like droppin' some bars, LOL! It might have just inspired me to finish the new song I've been working on. Sometimes, all I need is a little inspiration from Hip-Hop artists to put me in the mood. I was using my own beat for the new song, but I stopped recording while I was in the middle of going back and forth to doctors and whatnot. It seems I have a few days to play around this week, and I might just do that.

I didn't choose "Reunited" as the song of the week, though I think you should listen to it just the hear that violin I'm talking about. I chose a song that Method Man did with Redman called "Da Rockwilder." This is probably one of the shortest songs in history, but every bit of it sounds good. It's the definition of a Hip-Hop song. I love Method Man's flow on this one. Redman is really good, too, though I'm not very familiar with him. They both got that s@xy NY and Jersey swag. Don't get me wrong. I love me some West Coast and Southern rappers, too. But nothing hits me like that NY/NJ swag. 

That beat was amazing, but it was the artists and their energy and flows that made the song addictive. This song always gets played numerous times in my car when I'm in old-school mode. It's a fun tune.

New Tea Product Trial: Yogi Detox

I'm not one who likes to try new medications and such. I read all the pharmacist's paperwork, perform extensive research, and read every last active and inactive ingredient before I even consider taking something. Sometimes, I choose to take a medication a doctor gives me, and sometimes I don't. Had I taken the prednisolone I was given a long time ago, I may have improved sooner because it would have slowed down my immune system. Maybe I would have gotten a little better in one month instead of six months or fully recovered in six months instead of three years, lol. But I was scared to take it because some people had complained about weight gain. I was already 30 pounds past my weight with crushing chest pain from severe edema. I wasn't sure if taking a new medication would make things better or worse. I couldn't afford to get any worse at that time. I still don't know if that would have helped because I've never taken it. Still got the original scrip right here, as a matter of fact. I keep it as a part of my "lifetime box" documentation.  

I still wouldn't have figured out that gluten was the problem for a long time, though, and maybe doctors wouldn't have figured it out, either. It's not something that's obvious to people unless they know they have issues with foods or food ingredients (I didn't). Then they might think, "Oh, I wonder if I'm reacting to something I'm eating." It's not obvious to doctors either, especially when the patient doesn't see them much. It's not likely that a doctor will figure out that you have a problem with gluten the first time you see him or her. So I don't fault anyone for not knowing what caused the problem I was having back then. I fault some people for the way they handled the situation, though. 

I fault dishonesty and greed. I fault lack of empathy. I fault carelessness and laziness. I fault ignoring test results. I fault failure to properly assess and diagnose. I fault making up stuff (anxiety, impossible pregnancy, etc.) just for the hell of it. I fault throwing someone out of a medical institution when they clearly need lifesaving medical services. Temporary dialysis would have been nice, guys. 

That was the most frightening and lonely experience I've ever had in my life, and it still brings tears to my eyes when I think about how cold that was and how close I was to signing off. My trust is shot. But I also thank the Lord for pulling me through and giving me "signs" about how I could help myself. Thank goodness HE has the final say about how long I stay on this Earth and not another human being. I'd be screwed otherwise. 

I looked at my old videos and just noticed that I said  "I ate a bowl of oatmeal" one morning. In that video, I was complaining about the pitting edema and how I "didn't have it when I first woke up but had it then." When I looked back at the video, I said to myself, "Oh! I guess it was the oatmeal!" Some gluten-sensitive people have issues with oats. I'm one of those people. I even have issues with the "gluten-free" oats, so I avoid those too now. 

A New Tea Product Trial: Yogi Detox

I'll give a food or drink product a chance if it doesn't have any gluten or known allergens in it. Right now, I'm still in the stage of figuring out what I can and can't eat or drink. I'm looking at how my stomach responds as well as what my energy level looks like about 20 to 30 minutes after I eat or drink. I'm still judging which intolerances I still have as well. The lactose intolerance seems to be getting much better, but I still have some issues if I don't use my digestive enzymes before I have it. My stomach still doesn't care for too much fructose. I still get a little bit of bloat from that, but my energy doesn't zap out or anything. 

I tried this new tea to see if I could maximize my kidney/liver/pancreas health. I switch between probiotics, digestive enzymes, and having this tea from time to time. The tea has a lot of elements in it that boost bile production and things like that. It's a cleansing tea, meaning that anyone who drinks it will probably spend some time in the little girl's or boy's room. There's no caffeine in it, no gluten, and no other harmful ingredients. As long as you're not allergic to any of the herbs, you're good! 

It tastes pretty good. I put a little bit of gluten-free and lactose-free cream in it just for a bit of a sugar taste. I usually have one cup, but not every day. It's good for bloating and getting things moving. I give it a thumbs up. 

I am still 121 pounds, and I still feel very energetic, though I'm stressed over some recent worldly developments. Anyone in my situation would be. 

For Those Who Want My Input About the V


I really don't have much commentary about it.  

If you feel it's necessary, cool. 

If you don't feel it's necessary, cool. 

If you've gotten it, and you're fine, cool.  Good for you.

If you haven't gotten it, and you're still fine, cool. Good for you.

If businesses don't want to employ or entertain people who haven't gotten it, cool. If they want to reward those who have, cool. They have those rights. 

If the world wants to blame everything on the un-V'd, cool. They're entitled to their opinion.

If the world wants to punish anyone who has reservations or questions about putting experimental things in their bodies, alright. They've been granted the temporary power to do so. 

If all American citizens are now going to be segregated and discriminated against because of their V or Un-V'd status, okay. It's been done in America many times before based on other factors. 

I do not care. 

Yes, I care about other people's lives, and I care about my life. But I don't care to get involved in nonsense or confusion. God is not the author of confusion, and He is not the father of lies, nonsense, hatred, or oppression. 

I might be V'd and I might be Un-V'd. Neither is any of your business. 

If you think I'm not, and you're "scared" of "getting something from me," you can kindly stay the hell away from me. I'd like that very much. 

If you think I am, you can still stay the hell away from me. In fact, please do. I'd like that very much. 

The time has come when we all have to make the decision that we truly believe in. We have to do what we feel is best for our own health. Damn what anyone else says or thinks about our personal decisions. Certain entities have already shown me that I can't trust them, and they don't really care whether I live or die. It's not likely that those entities have had a sudden change of heart about my welfare. Not one individual or institution was there for me when I almost died, and some folks even outright lied and covered things up. So I give zero f*cks what they have to say now. 

I'm not about to argue with anyone, go back and forth, or defend or attack anything. 

Don't call me wanting to discuss this subject, or I will promptly end the call. Don't send me videos because I will not watch them. Don't ask me questions about my personal V business because you won't get an answer. Mind your business and your business alone. 

Weird Stuff Drivers Do: Turning the Radio Down for Clear Vision


Why do some drivers turn the radio volume down so they can SEE better? Lol! By "some drivers," I mean me. I do it all the time as if lowering the volume will somehow give me more visual road clarity. The funny part is that it works. A comedian made a joke about that years ago, and I thought it was hilarious. Too bad I don't remember who it was. 

Kiddie Bracelets for Gluten "Allergies" (UPDATED)


**Image is from a shopping website and is not the property of Timiarah S.**

There's technically no such thing as a genuine gluten "allergy." There's a wheat allergy, and then there are various autoimmune conditions that gluten aggravates immensely. Everything else gets classified as an "intolerance." Most people with such conditions want to try the best they can to avoid gluten. They want to do that for their children if they have those conditions as well. Additionally, they want to protect themselves, if God forbid, they ever end up in an emergency room unconscious and have to rely on the staff there to preserve their lives.    

Just like in every other field and realm of life, there are good people and bad people who practice medicine. There are highly adept specialists and specialists who shouldn't even have the right to call themselves medics of any kind. 

I thought having the appropriate information written down might help me if I ever had another "situation," and someone had to "care" for me. But honestly, some of these people probably wouldn't even read the information anyway. We're not human beings to some of these individuals, so they don't really care if we die on their watch, or we die after they send us home. I tell it like it is and don't pull any punches. That's how it is. 

So I came up with the idea to get a little bracelet to wear just in case. There's no guarantee that I'll be taken care of appropriately if I can't speak for myself. But perhaps a big ole color-coded bracelet with the words "GLUTEN ALLERGY" would help. It's not something one could really miss or not see. It provides a colorful way to communicate the message, "Hey, please don't give me GLUTEN if I'm in your care. Don't inject it into my veins, and don't serve it to me when I'm hungry and incoherent either. Thanks!"  

I think these are great. They're fashionable, as you can wear them with any color-coded outfit you might wear. They're small enough for my child-sized wrists. And like I said, they express the correct message. Wearing a "celiac disease" or "XYZ autoimmune condition" bracelet wouldn't help much because half of these unempathetic, barely adult caretakers don't even understand what that means or how dangerous gluten is to some people. Gluten allergy is a language that anyone can understand and no one can miss unless they want to. It might not be the appropriate terminology, but it could possibly save a life. 

Below is a video of me today versus me when I was having the worst reaction ever. I literally almost died during this time. Many people try to downplay it, but I have the videos and the test results and will never forget what happened. You might need to hit the play button twice to view it.


The Last Three PlayStation and Xbox Games Played


*Image is from https://cdn4.twinfinite.net/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/life-is-strange-before-the-storm.jpg and is not the property of Timiarah S.*

So the first narrative story I played was "Detroit: Become Human" for the PlayStation. I enjoyed that game so much that I switched genres and actively seek narrative stories now. Don't get me wrong. I still enjoy baseball, car racing, boxing, and other sports games. I spend most of my gaming time getting lost inside of narrative stories, though. 

My Experience With "Tell Me Why"

I'm on the Xbox now, so my second narrative story was "Tell Me Why." The agendas and propaganda annoyed me at first. However, I still felt it was a good story and acceptable game for an unswayable adult to play. I was interested in knowing the truth about the twins' mother and whether she was the monster the story portrayed her to be in the beginning. Nope. Not in my story. She wasn't. 

In my story, she was a wonderfully artistic woman who had lost everything (riches, status, family) to give birth to her precious first child. Then that child passed away, and she never quite got over the trauma. No trauma in this world is as devastating for a woman as losing a child. It's not something you just "get over" or "let go" of. It just isn't possible. You can try to move on, maybe, but you can never forget your lost babies. Anyone who makes the above commentary is insensitive and has no idea what it's like to have a child growing inside their body. They have no concept of the bond that a mother has (or is supposed to have) with her children. They have no empathy whatsoever. 

Mary-Ann's Trauma

Anyway, Mary-Ann was forever traumatized by the loss of her child. The trauma still affected her, even after she had the twins. She loved them to death but was extremely fearful of losing them. Sometimes, the fear of losing a child or children can make a mother extra protective and even controlling. She struggled with the trauma and struggled as a single mother trying to care for her kids, too. Their "father" had abandoned her early in the pregnancy, shortly after trying to force her to a**rt them. People judged her harshly for some of her bad choices and for not having enough money sometimes. Eventually, someone called Child Protective Services on her (for having a low income? for coping with trauma?), and the threat of losing her babies put her over the edge. 

That Devastating Night

In my story, Mary-Ann was never going to hurt "Tyler." She had the gun in her hand because he'd had a disturbing altercation with their "father" just a few minutes before "Tyler" showed up to show her her new haircut. "Tyler" then ran away, thinking that Mary-Ann would hurt her because she wanted to be a boy, lol. Mary-Ann chased "Tyler" to talk to her and explain that she wasn't going to hurt her. But Alyson only caught one part of the interaction and moved quickly to "save" her sister. Her action resulted in Mary-Ann's death, and a lifetime of confusion and misunderstanding came from all that. The whole story was more about making sense of what happened and who their mother was than it really was about anything else. 

My Thoughts on the Game

I played the game and took the ride with the twins to figure out what really happened that night. I enjoyed the game despite the innuendos and subliminal messages. They didn't affect me in any way, but I'd have reservations about letting an impressionable child play it. It kind of paints Christians as "bad" people, and they're not. They believe the information in the Bible, and they try to raise their children by such standards. They aren't any worse or any more "abusive" than those who want to raise their children on the "Do what thou wilt" manual. You dig? 

Narrative Video Games in General

What's interesting about narrative games is that everyone's story is different. I believe we change the events and how the story turns out based on our own beliefs, experiences, and game choices. My story may not have ended the same way someone else's story did. Mary-Ann might have been a completely different person according to someone else's gameplay. I have no idea. 

Next up on the Narrative Game List

Now I'm playing "Life Is Strange: Before the Storm." I play as an angsty female teenager who goes on a random trip with the most popular girl in the school. Again, the story's events have a lot to do with the choices I make. I chose to make them FRIENDS with traumatic backstories, but someone else might choose to have them interact in a "different" way. Again, it's not a game I would want a little impressionable child to play, but it's fine for a seasoned adult.  

How Long Should You Work a Physically Demanding Job Before You Quit?


This post is a Q&A and a follow-up to the "slave labor" post.

No one starts a physically demanding job feeling peachy after the first day, unless they've been doing the work for a long time and built up a tolerance. Warehouse jobs aren't the only physically demanding jobs, either. Automotive mechanics, construction people, lumberjacks, landscapers, and other individuals work just as hard. 

What's Your Experience With Laborious Jobs?

I can't speak on lumberjacking or construction. I have experience in warehouses and automotive centers, however. I worked in seafood factories (lol), bookbinding warehouses, coffee production facilities, and various other warehouses when I was very young. I had to get up early in the morning and take two buses to some of those jobs because I didn't have a car at the time. Additionally, I worked some furniture assembly jobs and did some mailroom work, too. I put some time in at a few logistics facilities when I got older. So I'm no stranger to hard work. 

Which Jobs Are the Hardest to Work?

I can tell you that being a "tire tech" is one of the most demanding automotive field jobs, and it's also one of the lowest-paying positions. I've worked on various areas of different vehicles, and I think the tire work was the most brutal and the least desirable. The engine work was pretty grueling, too, but I liked it. I had a higher level of energy and motivation because I enjoyed what I was doing and was focused on digging for my treasures (the cylinder heads). Warehouse work is harder, though. 

The difference between automotive work and warehouse work is in the labor consistency. You might have days as a tire tech where the workload is low. You might also get to take long breaks in between projects. That's quite different from busting your butt on an assembly line or loading/unloading a truck for hours on end. These jobs operate on set break times, and there's no stopping before then. They need to do that to meet their performance goals. 

How Long Should You Work a Hard Job Before You Quit?

Either way, you have to give one of these jobs time before you quit. That's assuming that you don't have a ton of other options available for the same pay. It takes at least two weeks for the body and brain to catch up to what you're doing. Just like with a new gym workout, you will be sore as crap after the first day. The pain might make you cry. It will definitely keep you in bed for at least an entire day. 

My first day as a tire tech kicked my butt. I also heard stories from grown burly men who had the same experience. Many grown men quit the automotive jobs and the warehouse jobs within the first few days. That's why some people say those jobs are more suitable for men. Men are physically stronger than we are. It's not a discriminatory comment. It's a biological fact. We can do the work, but we should go into the jobs with a realistic outlook. We're slightly disadvantaged, and it may take us longer to build strength and endurance. Additionally, we will need to ask a man for help at some point. 

It doesn't matter whether you're male, female, small, large, young, or old, though. The work will kick your behind when you first start if you're not used to it. Hydration, rest, and protein intake are crucial to your recovery. The muscles will strengthen over time, and you'll get used to going through the motions every day. How long that takes will depend on your body and your adherence to healthy nutritional and rest practices. Two weeks to 30 days is the recommended trial period for a new physically demanding job. 

Should I Just Do Something Else? Why Don't You Do Something Else?

Physically demanding jobs may or may not be for you, but you might want to give a new job a two-week trial before you give up on it. Thirty days would be ideal, but you should see a difference either way in about two weeks. You're not a lazy scumbag if you can't do it, as it's not for everyone. 

You can choose to do something else if you have a degree, or you're good at office tasks and computer work. Alternatively, you can apply for a supervisory position that doesn't involve hard labor if you fit the corporate mold. It will be hard to get a promotion if you don't, though. 

You can start your own business, too. You don't have to work laborious jobs, but they can be very rewarding. Personally, I like physical jobs because I get a kick out of the adrenalin. Our bodies can do amazing things when we get moving, haha. I'm highly educated with a college degree and numerous certifications. I have excellent clerical and computer skills and much experience in customer service as well. I'm a business-minded individual, too. So hard labor isn't something I necessarily have to do. It's something I choose to do whenever I do it.  

Warehouse Jobs Are not Actually "Slave Labor" Jobs


Warehouse work is not for everyone. Many young women and men quit after less than one week of warehouse work, and some of them only work for one DAY. So the unwillingness for a person to do warehouse work has nothing to do with one's age. I know senior citizens who have done the work for years. I know many middle-aged people as well. I did the work temporarily a while back for almost half a year, and I enjoyed it.

I was cracking up while watching a video from a 20-something-year-old healthy male who quit after his first day on the job. I don't even think he completed an entire shift. Many people don't. They're like, "Hell NAW!" before they even get done for the day, hahahahaha!  The videos are priceless. 

Why Do Warehouse Jobs Have Such a Bad Reputation?

Most of the time, it's because of people's initial expectations and beliefs. Maybe they believe the jobs are easy because they don't require a certain educational degree or conventional hiring process. Well, they're not easy at all, and they're not no-brainers, either. They require physical endurance and certain brain activity, too. They require speed and precision as well. Certain goals need to be met, and the errors need to be low at the same time. So people come in expecting something easy peasy, and then they find out that it's not something that everybody can do. 

What's All This I Hear About Slave Labor?

A few people made comments such as, "I  knew I was going to have to work, but da*n." Other people made worse comments that referenced slave labor. First, let me say this: The slaves didn't get paid. Read the history. They were forced to work and were beaten and tortured if they didn't. So an employer would have to fail to pay people and force them to work there to qualify as a "slave labor" institution. Many people use the terms "slave wages" and "slave labor" inappropriately. I've done it myself a few times, but technically, the job market is neither of those things. 

Certain employers might offer "sweatshop wages" that don't help single people to survive, but none of them offer "slave wages" because there's no such a thing as a slave wage. "Slave labor" is forced and unpaid hard manual labor. 

These jobs are at-will positions. Anyone may leave at any time. Some places even provide convenient self-service resignation options. So anyone can exit at his or her free will. Alternatively, some people might want to stick around to see if they can reap the benefits of such jobs and learn how to keep themselves healthy and strong for their positions. Some of these companies offer full benefits, rare benefits, high pay rates, and other goodies that other companies don't offer at all. I would challenge any prospective warehouse worker to compare these perks to what other jobs offer and then consider sticking around. 

You Can Give Yourself a Better Experience as a Warehouse Worker

A few hard workout sessions a week or two before the job's start date could prevent the initial shock to the body's muscular systems. Dietary changes, sleep schedule adjustments, proper hydration, and nutrient supplementation can take care of the rest. Just saying. Many people miss out on some excellent perks only because they're not necessarily in good shape when they start.  

"Older" Women Can Still Have What They Want


Some folks will use anything to try to tear down another person's self-esteem. Age is just one factor of many. When we're younger, narcissistic personalities use our looks, weight, race, and anything else they see as an imperfection. When we're older, they choose our age because they think it's a soft spot for us. 

Age is nothing but a number, and we're just as valuable when we get a little bit older as we are when we're in our 20s. It's all a matter of finding the right man IF we're looking for one. That's the key, isn't it? We'd have to be looking for a man to feel bad about not having one, lol.

We can still "get it" IF we want it. Our bodies work just fine IF we want to share them. We can still have families of our own IF we want them, too, though it might take a little extra effort. 

Men still approach us, though the numbers may not be as high as they were a decade ago. Some of them are very fine, and some of them are quite dusty. But there's definitely no lack of suitors, contrary to some people's belief. No woman has to be alone because of her age, especially a good woman. 

But I think when we get older, we're more clear about what we want, and we're more certain about what we don't want. We're no longer willing to compromise just so we can say, "I have a man." Whoop-dee-doo, I have a man. What's the purpose of having a man in your life if he isn't enriching it in any way? What's the point of a relationship if it doesn't make you feel good about yourself? How meaningful is it if the other person only sees one dimension of you and never wants to grow with you? It isn't. At all. 

So we're a lot choosier about who we let into our lives when we get older. And some of us are quite content being with ourselves if the alternative isn't a good one. I've never had a problem being alone. I spent most of my life alone emotionally or physically anyway, so it's just life as usual when I'm not in a relationship. 

Personally, I'm not looking for a man right now. I'm not sure if I ever will be again, but I know the kind of man I want precisely. I won't accept sloppy seconds or loaners because it's pointless to do so. I want a lifetime partner for myself. I want someone who will be my best friend, protector, partner, spiritual leader, and lover. Notice that the lover part is last? The lover part was always last in importance to me. I haven't changed one little bit in that regard. It's just that some people didn't really know who I was, what I believed, or how I felt. They only knew what they wanted and what they THOUGHT I wanted. They gave me what they felt like giving me and didn't care whether I was happy or not. I didn't care either while I was living my life as a codependent. I only cared about trying to get other people to love me. Now I don't give a hoot. 

I'm no miserable "older" woman in any way. I like my life just the way it is. I'm not beat for a man at all. Don't get me wrong. I'd love to be in a genuine and long-lasting relationship, but it's not going to make me or break me if I'm not. There just isn't a sense of urgency there for me. I can honestly say that I really don't care anymore. That has little to do with my age and more to do with just being fed up, lol. 

Larry's Giant Subs in Springfield (#179) Gave me a Dangburger!


*Disclaimer: This text may contain substitute words that differ from what the author actually said.*

Larry's is one of the only places around here where I can get a sub on gluten-free bread. Subway hasn't had it lately, and I already said my peace about Firehouse's relish situation. So Larry's was the only place I could get it, and the one in my town was closed. I had to drive up to Springfield and get one from them because I need it for work on Sunday. I ordered the biggest one they had and ate half of it just now for a little break from my usual diet of meat and fish with no bread, greens, fruits, smoothies, water, etc. 

I told them to put everything on it: mushrooms, olives, onions, spinach (they were out), and some CHEESE! I miss my cheese. Cheese and I have a long history. I used to crave cheese so much because I was missing the calcium, I guess. I'd order all this cheese from Walmart and come home and eat the entire quarter-pound of it. I didn't know what was wrong with me then. I NEEDED to eat it so badly at that time, but I couldn't process it at all. Every time I ate it, I had bad symptoms, but I didn't put two and two together until later when I drank a cup of milk. 

Anyway, I'd been avoiding it because I'm still lactose intolerant. However, my digestive enzyme supplement includes LACTASE. I figured this would be a great time to test the lactase. So I told girlfriend to go ahead and slap some cheese on that mofo.

Well, I bit into that thing, and it tasted so good I thought they made some kind of mistake! It was mouthwateringly delicious. It was so tasty it threw me off for a minute. First, I fondled, smelled, and tasted the bread again to ensure it was the GLUTEN-FREE bread. Then I stared at the tuna and wondered if they'd switched the type. The other store used albacore. Albacore tastes different from yellowfin and skipjack. It's kinda dry and has a weaker taste. So I wondered if they switched things up a little. 

Then I looked at the sub and just said, "Dang!" and continued to devour it. I even ate that long pickle, and I don't even like pickles.

That's the definition of dangburger, folks. It's any sandwich, sub, or burger that tastes so good you look at it sideways and go... "Dang!"

I'm just fine, BTW. I don't look three or six months pregnant. I'm not having any pain or issues. I haven't fallen asleep against my will or run to the ladies' room. That thing was good. I need to write that the customer service was also excellent there. I've had nothing but pleasant customer service experiences at these establishments. 

The Lifetime Box: Everyone Should Have One


I searched through my "lifetime box" the other day, looking for medical test records I kept from when I was deathly ill. I felt like I had something to prove at the time. I had almost allowed another person to (try to) alter and minimize the reality of my personal experience. I felt like defending myself at first, but then I remembered this: Certain personality types do stuff like that. They gaslight everything, including experiences you had by yourself.

No one knows what I went through in 2017 or 2018 because they simply weren't there. No one knows what I'm going through now unless I choose to tell them. Thus, no one has the right to tell me what my medical documents say, which condition I have or don't have, or whether I really almost died four years ago. As a matter of fact, I reject all false narratives about all aspects of my life, from my parenting to my occupation to my health. 

In 2017/2018, I wasn't living in the fanciest dwelling, it's true, but plenty of full families of all races lived there. Not one person had their children taken away for having a low income or for "moving" or living in a dwelling type other people disapproved of. Paying so much rent to live in that "substandard" dwelling added insult to injury, too. I paid more money to live there than most people pay for their mortgages and rents, and I stayed in that same spot consistently for three years. I kept every payment receipt, too. I didn't leave until I found something more suitable. 

My last relationship had ended in 2013, and there was no one in my life in any way at that time. Not a boyfriend. Not a friend. Not a "special" acquaintance or anything of the like. 

It was a bad time for me health-wise because I randomly became gravely ill and had no idea what was going on. I can only assume that my body reacted adversely to some ant bites I got one day when I was working on my car. The alternative is that the lifelong gluten consumption finally took a toll on me. I still don't know what caused the flare. 

That experience was so scary to go through alone. It wasn't just the symptoms that scared me but the lack of empathy and concern from some of the "medics." Someone (eventually) gave me prednisolone and methylprednisolone for the first time in my life, but I never took them at any time. I recovered slowly with certain dietary modifications, and I found an unconventional way to go through a process semi-similar to dialysis once or twice. That helped somewhat. 

What did I do for money while I was sick? How did I pay my bills? A long-distance person donated to me a few times, but I was a ghostwriter mostly. The only services I ever sold were my texts, lol. I stayed inside most days and read the Bible, prayed, and watched ministers and teachers. I worked on my Monte Carlo when I could, too. It took me six months to change a head gasket because I was too sick to even go outside most days. But I told myself I was going to finish that job before I died (I felt like death). I wouldn't leave this world believing someone else's negative words about what I couldn't accomplish. 

I started working for an automotive care center after I recovered (somewhat), and I stayed with them until I couldn't be an automotive technician anymore (their choice, not mine). 

I wasn't just a nameless ghostwriter during that period, though. I got published a few times for some devotionals I wrote for a Christian teen magazine. That's what I found in my "lifetime box." My "lifetime box" has documents and materials from various parts of my life, and they go waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay back. I've carried the box around for years. I could actually use its contents to dispute many of the falsehoods that circulate about who I am and who I was. But it's much more entertaining to watch how hateful and low-down some people are. 

Finding those devotionals reminded me that all my work wasn't lost to that unscrupulous content mill. I got published before (newspapers, mags, etc.), and I'll get published again. Maybe I should stick with devotionals and similar texts. The Devozine doesn't circulate anymore, but I'm sure other magazines and publications could use some heartfelt devos.  

There's Nothing Funny About Wickedness


Evil isn't a joke. Thus, the chances are slim that a person who jokes about being evil is just "kidding." It's exactly the same as when a narcissist throws those spirit-crushing "jokes" at his target and then says he's "kidding." There's nothing comical about it at all, and it's insulting to pretend there is. I have a great sense of humor, and I find many things funny. But I don't see the humor in claiming evil. Our words come from what's in our hearts. 

These persons are proud of what they do and proud of the entity they represent. They're basically boasting about their affiliation with wickedness and testing you to see if you continue to deal with them after that. You have free will to do so, but you also have free will to separate yourself. What does light have to do with darkness? Absolutely nothing. They don't mix at all. 

You may want to think twice if a person ever says words to you such as:

  • "I like evil."
  • "I'm a soul snatcher." 
  • "The devil is inside me." 

That person is telling you exactly who they are and what they're about, and they're doing it right in your face. That person is not kidding at all because there's no such thing as joking about loving evil. Believe me. I've heard such words in my lifetime, and the people who spoke the words always stayed true to them.  

One of the biggest tricks of the devil is to try to convince people he doesn't exist. He does this using various techniques, such as "hiding" the truth in plain sight and using "jokes," sarcasm, and ridicule to paint people who believe in him or God as crazy. We're not any crazier for choosing love, kindness, or righteousness than they are for choosing evil. We're not any crazier for choosing the Word than they are for choosing whatever guidebook they use.  

I learned over the years that it doesn't matter whether I preach the Word and put myself out there, try to fit in where I know I don't fit in, or hide in my home and say nothing. People still know who I am. Entities still know where I stand. Battles still occur. So it makes no sense to "lay low" or be silent when the wicked don't. They're quite proud of who they are. Well, I am, too. 

I used to think that if I remained quiet, I'd just be left alone, and I'd get to go through this life without challenges, opposition, attacks, additional hardships, dishonest and dismissive doctors, etc. That's not the way it works at all. We get put through the fire, no matter where we are. We cannot hide from God, nor can we hide from his refining processes. We can't escape the warfare or battles either, especially while we're living in this decaying world. The thing to remember is that evil will not prevail. Also, the Wicked One is nothing to fear, so long as we stay close to our Savior.