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Showing posts with label advice. Show all posts
Showing posts with label advice. Show all posts

Keep Your Heart Open

Heartache is a tricky thing, and human beings are not very good at handling tricky things. Some people try to help by telling you it'll get better or saying things like, "It just wasn't meant to be." Some people will try to "help" you by reiterating how much the other person didn't care about you, as if you didn't already know that. Some people try to exercise tough love by telling you to "Just get over it." Unfortunately, heartache doesn't work that way. It's not a light switch that we can shut off whenever we want to "get over" it. It's not anymore possible to force a heart to mend than it is to force a broken leg or a surgical incision to heal. The heart goes through the same stages: pain (tears), swelling (anger), oozing (depression), puss (more anger and self-blame), scabbing (acceptance), and eventual scarring and then healing.  

It doesn't matter if the other person was a saint or a cheater, liar, thief, jerk, narcissist, a-hole, or some other type of unscrupulous individual. Rejection always feels the same. No, as a matter of fact, sometimes rejection from a "bad" person feels worse because deep down we know it's someone who didn't even deserve our love in the first place. So then there's the double whammy of being disappointed in ourselves too, for letting such a wicked person hurt us. We feel stupid for being kind to someone who had a heart of coal and naive for believing they could ever love us. It's pretty painful stuff. 

No matter what the situation is, heartache is still on the table after it's all said and done. The people who get left behind are the people who have to deal with it. No one can tell them how long to take to heal. No one can tell them to "Just get over it." It'll happen in time. One should never try to force the heart to heal before it's ready.

To the brokenhearted people, including myself, I say this: Don't rush to "get over it," but don't wallow in it forever either. Every minute of your life that you spend hurting over someone who broke your heart is one less minute you get to enjoy life. Do what you gotta do. Eat ice cream. Watch movies. Exercise. Cry and then laugh. But always keep your heart open. You will meet your other half one day, and that person will need access to that beautiful heart of yours. Don't let unappreciative people and bad seeds make you shut yourself off from true love. They'll win if you do. 

The Upsides of Being Alone

Some people feel super down when they have to spend a part of their life alone. If you feel this way, you're not the only one. With society's "everyone must have a partner" view on relationships, it's hard not to. Not being in a relationship can make you feel like a failure, reject, or something worse with that mindset. There are other more positive perspectives you can have about being alone, however. Additionally, there are lots of plusses to flying solo for a while. These are three of them.

You Get to Plan Each Day

When you're by yourself, the canvas is clean, and the sky is the limit every day. You can paint the portrait of your life any way you so desire. You can spend your time how you want to spend it, and you don't have to consult with anyone else first. You don't have to ration any of your time out to any other folks. You don't have to explain why you're going here or there, and you don't have to compromise about your activities. You can do whatever you want, no matter how silly, trivial, or corny someone else thinks it might be. You can use all your time doing things that make you and only you happy. 

You Have Total Freedom

Even the most responsible and mature people need a little freedom sometimes. We need the freedom to laugh, live, and act a fool if we want to. When you're alone, you can just pick up and travel around the world if you like. You can jump on a motorcycle and ride to wherever, or you can take a cruise to the end of the waters. You can come home if you feel like it or stay elsewhere if you like. You can keep your house messy or tidy, and you can eat healthy or unhealthy. You can also choose clothing that makes you feel comfortable, and you don't have to worry about anyone else trying to change your unique style. Shucks, when you're in your own home, you can even choose to wear nothing if you like. 

You Can Interact With New People 

Nothing is stopping you from meeting and interacting with new people. It's your option to choose the people you want to allow into your world and the relationship that you want to have with them. You can spend some of your alone time making new friends and acquaintances. Love might be just around the corner, too. 

Of course, there are downsides to being solo, like having to pay all your bills alone and not having someone to hold you at night. But some of the positives are fantastic. If you're alone, you can take this time to get to know yourself better and do things you never had the time to do before. You can also spend this time reflecting on your past relationships and figuring out what you want and what you will and won't accept. There's an old saying that you should always "look at the bright side of things." Consider that the next time you get down about being by yourself. 

The Integrity of a Salesperson

When you work a sales position, you should always remember that you're working with human beings and their livelihoods and lives. Sometimes, the "products and services" that you sell them can affect their lives so much that they can live or die based upon what you tell them. Is it ethical to lie and then deny someone an inexpensive solution just to try to sell them a more expensive one? Is it moral to let them walk out the door with no solution even though you know they need immediate help?

I'm mostly talking about people who sell things in the health and dental fields, but this could apply to the automotive industry, cell phone industry, and other industries, as well. Salespersons should never lose their integrity just to try to make a sale. They should never let someone walk out the door with a life-threatening illness that could be resolved by a $4 prescription or an automotive problem that could ultimately cause an accident and hurt them and other innocent drivers. You get the point.

It's great to make a sale in your industry if you get the opportunity. It's wonderful if you can convince someone to buy XYZ product or service, and that XYZ product or service somehow benefits them. However, a salesperson should not be heartless if the customer declines XYZ product due to financial limits, product knowledge, desire to take another action plan, etc. At the end of the day, the salesperson or sales manager should respect the customer's decision and give that person what he or she wants unless it's dangerous. Even when that's the case, the customer still has a right to choose that action plan. The salesperson cannot take away that person's right to choose because it's the customer's money.  He can instead make the person sign a disclaimer or waiver to relieve himself of the responsibility and still respect the client's wishes.

I'm specifically talking about a recent issue I had with one of those chain dentistry places, but as I said, it applies to all sales. The business wanted to sell me a costly solution when I just wanted a quick inexpensive solution that I knew wasn't permanent. I just wanted to be healthy and have a bit more time to save money for the more expensive (but most likely necessary) solution. I feel that the practitioner was wrong because he stripped me of my right to choose the other option. He could have charged me for the visit (I was there on a promotion), and I would have paid him for writing the (JUST AN antibiotic to kill the infection) prescription, but I never got that option at all. I left the facility ill instead, and dental infections are tricky because they can get into the bloodstream and literally cause death. To me, this was a case of unethical sales tactics.

A caring provider would not want someone to leave without getting help even if it didn't make the facility a whole lot of money that day. Sometimes, you can gain long-term customers and clients just by being honest and helpful to them when they need assistance.

Anyway, you get the point. Sales positions are tricky. Yes, you have to make sales, but you shouldn't ever lie or cheat people to do so. You do have to look out for the patient, customer, or client, but at the same time, you can't strip that person of his or her rights. A sales professional has to have a balance of compassion and empathy as well as the desire to earn money for himself/herself and the company. If the scale tips too much toward the dollar side, the saleperson can lose his or her soul. Just saying.