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Showing posts with label narcissism and codependency. Show all posts
Showing posts with label narcissism and codependency. Show all posts

Monday, December 20, 2021

Looking at Codependency as a Spiritual Matter


"Having any dealings with a reprobate is extremely dangerous. We often delude ourselves into thinking that if we treat all people with kindness and love, they will respond in kind. In most cases, this is true, but not when dealing with a reprobate. Reprobates do not respond to love and kindness, except to interpret it as vulnerability or weakness on your part and use it against you to dominate you.  

In our pride, we must not think ourselves able to control or deal with that which the Lord himself will not. If the perfect love of our Father cannot soften the reprobate’s heart, wasting our love on him is meaningless. If the Holy Spirit cannot turn the reprobate’s heart to God, nothing we are capable of doing will have any effect. If the Blood of Jesus cannot save a reprobate, we surely cannot. 

This is because we are not dealing with a human spirit anymore, but with demons. For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places….Ephesians 6:12KJV. A reprobate is a demonic person, who has given Satan complete control over his will. His mind, his heart, and his soul belong to the devil, and the devil is not going to let him go." - Reverend Renee Pittelli

Notice that the above excerpt talks about allowing pride to delude oneself into thinking that she has some kind of power to change an individual who has completely given himself over to evil. This is often the plight of an individual who struggles with "codependency." 

From a spiritual aspect, a codependent person struggles with a primary issue of pride and a secondary issue with the spirit of rejection. She is essentially placing herself above the Heavenly Father in her idea of her own power. This is fleshly (egotistical), and in some cases, it can be a sign of demonic oppression. The kingdom of darkness seeks to devour all people of light. Thus, investing love and time into a member of that kingdom can be devastating, to say the least.   

Only one entity has the power to change a person. It is possible, as with the story of Nebuchadnezzar (basically a narcissist), but it is up to the Heavenly Father whether He wants to continue to deal with that person or not. The codependent cannot fix or help that individual, no matter how hard she tries. All the love she could ever muster would never be enough to change that person. 

Additionally, she would continue to expose herself to additional breaches, spiritual vulnerabilities, and oppression each time she succumbed to the spirit of pride and the sins of idolatry and spiritual adultery (spending more time trying to change this person than spending with "God," placing this person as a priority in her life, associating herself with an evil individual, etc.). 

There is hope for a codependent in repentance and deliverance from the spirits of pride and rejection. The narcissist is a completely different entity, who also has an issue of pride, but is not malleable in the least. The only thing one can do with such a person is to let him go, work out her own salvation, and turn the situation over to "God."    

***Disclaimer: The blog poster is not a preacher, teacher, minister, priest, cult member or leader, PhD psychologist, therapist, counselor, or anything of the like. Please see the appropriate entities for additional information, according to what you believe.***

Monday, May 3, 2021

Is Ghosting Someone Emotional Abuse?

Ghosting is one of the cruelest and most emotionally damaging things that one human being can do to another. It can make a person feel worthless, unwanted, unimportant, unloved, abandoned, and all those fun emotions that some folks already struggle with because of their traumatic pasts. 

Ghosting isn't taken as seriously as it should be because it's used by inexperienced young daters, cowardly people who don't like confrontations, and narcissistic individuals, too. However, it's important to understand that its effect on another person's emotions is the same, whether the ghoster does it with intent to harm them or not. 

What Ghosting Is

Ghosting is disappearing on someone you have any type of relationship or relations with. It's when you leave for work one day after breakfast and don't return home to your wife. It's when you don't respond to a message or call after you've just been with someone in a so-called intimate manner. It's when you intentionally deny someone of basic human contact and communication when you know they care for you. It's when you don't check in with someone to see if that person is even breathing. You simply drop off the face of the Earth without a word. You get the picture.

The nature of your relationship doesn't matter, as you're both still HUMAN BEINGS. It's just plain wrong. It's cruel, selfish, and sometimes even sadistic. 

What Ghosting Is Not

Ghosting is not to be confused with the no contact rule, which emotional and verbal abuse survivors commonly use. These persons need to cut contact with abusive individuals to establish boundaries, heal themselves, and prevent further abuse. In most cases, these persons endured a great deal of pain before they decided to cut contact with their abusers. NC is for their emotional wellness and protection and is not a malicious tool. Nine times out of 10, the abusive person knows exactly why the other person doesn't wish to talk to them.

The Right to Ghost

People have the right to talk to or not talk to anyone they want. That's true. It's their phone, their chat account, their presence, their time, etc. Sure, in a perfect world, it should be okay for people to withdraw a little when they feel like it. But ghosters don't "withdraw a little." Ghosters commonly cut people off when everything's supposed to be okay, or they "die" for a while and resurrect themselves only when it suits them. 

These individuals will only communicate if they want something, and they care very little about whether the other person needs anything at all. These types of individuals wouldn't give the other person a glass of water if their head and ass were on fire, but they would feel comfortable asking such a person for a variety of favors and assistance. They often crush one person's spirit to be with someone else, and then they show up when their other relationship(s) has a problem or doesn't work out. These are sociopath games.

Is Ghosting Emotional Abuse?

Hell yeah, it's emotional abuse. Big time. It invalidates and devalues the other person without a word being said. It re-opens the childhood wounds of people who have experienced abandonment or invalidation before. It evokes feelings of worthlessness in individuals who have their emotions invested in the other person. It's a cruel and heartless tool of emotional abuse in the worst form. 

If You're a Ghoster

You have issues, bruh! You have issues, sis! You deserve to have the same thing done to you, preferably by someone you do give a sh*t about. Grow up and simply tell people the truth when you don't care for them, and you can avoid doing emotional harm to other people. Unless, of course, you enjoy doing it. In that case, you should probably burn in hell. 

 If You've Been Ghosted

There are some positive sides to being ghosted. For one, you get to see how immature the other person is. If it's someone you really liked, you'll realize that an actual relationship with them would not have been okay. They're likely to handle a relationship issue, pregnancy, or marital problem in the same manner. 

Secondly, you'll learn that other people have been ghosted, and you're not alone in your pain. You'll learn that it's all about the ghoster, not about the victims. It doesn't matter if you're mean, nice, fat, skinny, smart, dumb, ugly, pretty, young, old, white, black, or whatever. Ghosters have issues that have nothing to do with you. They have five-year-old toy-shelving mentalities, are severely damaged, or just don't care enough about you to give a sh*t. In any case, that's not someone you want to invest any more of your time into, let alone your emotions. 

How to Handle a Ghost Who Gets Post-Mortem CPR

Let the ghosts stay dead. If they didn't like you enough to keep up with you, that's fine, but remember that nothing will change after their resurrection. They still won't like you after they resurrect themselves, and they'll likely just use you again IF you let them. Nope. Give 'em a nice ScrewYoulogy and send their ass back to the afterlife.