Showing posts with label narcissism and codependency. Show all posts
Showing posts with label narcissism and codependency. Show all posts

The Toxic Narcissist and Empath Tango

 


Toxic relationships are games, and each participant's objective is to win. In a narcissist-codependent or narcissist-empath relationship, the narc wants to "win" by completely destroying the target. The target wants to "win" by changing the narcissist back into something that he never was in the first place. She wants to make him into a loving, caring, and empathetic person. Both parties do it for the wrong reason, which is to validate themselves.

The narc would feel powerful just knowing that he caused someone so much emotional pain that she could no longer function properly. The codependent would feel important if she could turn a frog into a prince or a devil into an angel. If they could only "win," they could experience that sense of control they never had when they were children. 

These dysfunctional entanglements often go on for years, back and forth, break up and makeup, no contact and re-contact, etc. Nobody ever wins, though. The longer it goes on, the more both parties lose. The empath is the one who loses the most, however. She loses self-esteem, self-respect, confidence, hope, trust, and sometimes even faith in humanity. If she plays the game too long, she runs the risk of being stuck in it forever. 

It's not too late for her, though. As long as she has an ounce of hope (for herself) and a mustard seed of faith, she can get out. She can heal, and she can find true love one day. All she has to do is stop playing the game. 

How does one stop playing the game, though? 

It's really not as complicated as people make it. It's just like a game of catch where two people throw a ball back and forth to each other... over and over and over again. If one of them doesn't want to play the game anymore, all that person has to do is stop throwing the ball back. Put it down instead of throwing it back and simply walk away. Game over. 

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