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Showing posts with label spiritual matters. Show all posts
Showing posts with label spiritual matters. Show all posts

The Lifetime Box: Everyone Should Have One


I searched through my "lifetime box" the other day, looking for medical test records I kept from when I was deathly ill. I felt like I had something to prove at the time. I had almost allowed another person to (try to) alter and minimize the reality of my personal experience. I felt like defending myself at first, but then I remembered this: Certain personality types do stuff like that. They gaslight everything, including experiences you had by yourself.

No one knows what I went through in 2017 or 2018 because they simply weren't there. No one knows what I'm going through now unless I choose to tell them. Thus, no one has the right to tell me what my medical documents say, which condition I have or don't have, or whether I really almost died four years ago. As a matter of fact, I reject all false narratives about all aspects of my life, from my parenting to my occupation to my health. 

In 2017/2018, I wasn't living in the fanciest dwelling, it's true, but plenty of full families of all races lived there. Not one person had their children taken away for having a low income or for "moving" or living in a dwelling type other people disapproved of. Paying so much rent to live in that "substandard" dwelling added insult to injury, too. I paid more money to live there than most people pay for their mortgages and rents, and I stayed in that same spot consistently for three years. I kept every payment receipt, too. I didn't leave until I found something more suitable. 

My last relationship had ended in 2013, and there was no one in my life in any way at that time. Not a boyfriend. Not a friend. Not a "special" acquaintance or anything of the like. 

It was a bad time for me health-wise because I randomly became gravely ill and had no idea what was going on. I can only assume that my body reacted adversely to some ant bites I got one day when I was working on my car. The alternative is that the lifelong gluten consumption finally took a toll on me. I still don't know what caused the flare. 

That experience was so scary to go through alone. It wasn't just the symptoms that scared me but the lack of empathy and concern from some of the "medics." Someone (eventually) gave me prednisolone and methylprednisolone for the first time in my life, but I never took them at any time. I recovered slowly with certain dietary modifications, and I found an unconventional way to go through a process semi-similar to dialysis once or twice. That helped somewhat. 

What did I do for money while I was sick? How did I pay my bills? A long-distance person donated to me a few times, but I was a ghostwriter mostly. The only services I ever sold were my texts, lol. I stayed inside most days and read the Bible, prayed, and watched ministers and teachers. I worked on my Monte Carlo when I could, too. It took me six months to change a head gasket because I was too sick to even go outside most days. But I told myself I was going to finish that job before I died (I felt like death). I wouldn't leave this world believing someone else's negative words about what I couldn't accomplish. 

I started working for an automotive care center after I recovered (somewhat), and I stayed with them until I couldn't be an automotive technician anymore (their choice, not mine). 

I wasn't just a nameless ghostwriter during that period, though. I got published a few times for some devotionals I wrote for a Christian teen magazine. That's what I found in my "lifetime box." My "lifetime box" has documents and materials from various parts of my life, and they go waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay back. I've carried the box around for years. I could actually use its contents to dispute many of the falsehoods that circulate about who I am and who I was. But it's much more entertaining to watch how hateful and low-down some people are. 

Finding those devotionals reminded me that all my work wasn't lost to that unscrupulous content mill. I got published before (newspapers, mags, etc.), and I'll get published again. Maybe I should stick with devotionals and similar texts. The Devozine doesn't circulate anymore, but I'm sure other magazines and publications could use some heartfelt devos.  

There's Nothing Funny About Wickedness


Evil isn't a joke. Thus, the chances are slim that a person who jokes about being evil is just "kidding." It's exactly the same as when a narcissist throws those spirit-crushing "jokes" at his target and then says he's "kidding." There's nothing comical about it at all, and it's insulting to pretend there is. I have a great sense of humor, and I find many things funny. But I don't see the humor in claiming evil. Our words come from what's in our hearts. 

These persons are proud of what they do and proud of the entity they represent. They're basically boasting about their affiliation with wickedness and testing you to see if you continue to deal with them after that. You have free will to do so, but you also have free will to separate yourself. What does light have to do with darkness? Absolutely nothing. They don't mix at all. 

You may want to think twice if a person ever says words to you such as:

  • "I like evil."
  • "I'm a soul snatcher." 
  • "The devil is inside me." 

That person is telling you exactly who they are and what they're about, and they're doing it right in your face. That person is not kidding at all because there's no such thing as joking about loving evil. Believe me. I've heard such words in my lifetime, and the people who spoke the words always stayed true to them.  

One of the biggest tricks of the devil is to try to convince people he doesn't exist. He does this using various techniques, such as "hiding" the truth in plain sight and using "jokes," sarcasm, and ridicule to paint people who believe in him or God as crazy. We're not any crazier for choosing love, kindness, or righteousness than they are for choosing evil. We're not any crazier for choosing the Word than they are for choosing whatever guidebook they use.  

I learned over the years that it doesn't matter whether I preach the Word and put myself out there, try to fit in where I know I don't fit in, or hide in my home and say nothing. People still know who I am. Entities still know where I stand. Battles still occur. So it makes no sense to "lay low" or be silent when the wicked don't. They're quite proud of who they are. Well, I am, too. 

I used to think that if I remained quiet, I'd just be left alone, and I'd get to go through this life without challenges, opposition, attacks, additional hardships, dishonest and dismissive doctors, etc. That's not the way it works at all. We get put through the fire, no matter where we are. We cannot hide from God, nor can we hide from his refining processes. We can't escape the warfare or battles either, especially while we're living in this decaying world. The thing to remember is that evil will not prevail. Also, the Wicked One is nothing to fear, so long as we stay close to our Savior. 

No Weapon Formed Against Me: A Little Poetry


The devil had a hold on me.

My Savior loosed me free.

Now he spends his time

replaying who I USED to be. 

Reposting every silly script,

my brokenness and pain. 

'Cause he's not very interested

in what I sketch TODAY. 

He misses me. He wants me back

in the cage that crushed my soul. 

But he don't get that I ain't that,

and his place is not my home.

I was achy, lost, and drowning,

but claiming my life back. 

And ever since my Savior found me,

ain't no time for that. 

So he gets his jollies off old follies,

bringing up the past.

Trollin' me something ungodly,

things he must rehash. 

And wreaking little bits of havoc

all the chance he gets.

But he don't know I'm built to last, 

and all his plans are lit. 


© 2021 Timiarah A. Spriggs

Isaiah 54:17

"No weapon formed against you shall prosper, And every tongue which rises against you in judgment You shall condemn."

Rejection Is, Indeed, Protection

Have you ever heard the saying, "Rejection is God's protection"? Well, it's not just a meaningless statement to help rejected people feel better about being rejected. It doesn't work very well for that anyway. But it's the truth if you believe in "God." He will do whatever necessary to try to bring hard-headed children back into His fold. He will allow all kinds of unpleasantries to occur if it breaks someone down enough to go to Him for help. He will let evil be done to someone who has backslidden so that the individual will see the error of his or her ways and return home. That sounds kind of jacked up, but it really isn't. 

We still have free will. So we can still choose to continue to act an ass after we get rejected and crushed. We can get mad at "God" and go deeper into the darkness if we like. Or we can recognize that we screwed up, confess our sins, dust ourselves off, and get back into that Word. Every new day of life is a new opportunity to learn lessons and become better people because of those lessons we learned. 

He wouldn't do it if He didn't love us. He wants the best possible future for us, and He knows we can only have that future if we follow the ways of our Shepherd and stop listening to the father of lies. The father of lies plays on our innermost desires, whether they be love, a family unit, or something else. He'll tell us it's okay to create a family this way, even though the Word says we should only do it that way. He'll tell us it's okay to do things out of love for another person, even though the Word says those things are only supposed to be done within the confines of a certain situation. He'll play on our pride and tell us that we deserve a consolation prize for what we lost and that we deserve to be "happy." All the while, he'll have his fingers crossed behind his back because he knows we'll end up being eternally destroyed if we keep listening to his nonsense. 

Our Father sees all this. So if He has to whoop our ass by allowing some jerk or jerkette to rip our heart out, He'll do that. If He has to pluck someone out of our life with whom we are unequally yoked, He will do that, too. Sometimes, there will be no explanation. This person will suddenly become repulsed by us and leave. Pluck! Sometimes, the individual will be so horribly abusive that we can't even deny the sh!t anymore. Pluck! Sometimes we'll become repulsed by the other person. Pluck! 

Plucking is painful, no matter what way it comes. It causes loneliness, regret, heartache, pain, guilt, shame, and all those unfun feelings we don't want to experience. It's so painful sometimes that we only have a few options for alleviating it. As mentioned before, we can succumb to our disappointment, anger, and hurt and go down a path of darkness. Or we can humble down and accept that we cannot force our will, no matter how much we want certain things. We have a purpose, and our Creator has a plan for us. That plan might not involve a lifetime partner or a family or a specific job title or worldly success. It's greater than that. It's our job to listen to our instructions and find out which way we're supposed to walk next. It's our job to surrender, trust, and have faith in Him, and deny the part of ourselves that we think knows best.


Self-Love Jewelry: Yay or Nay? T's Thoughts


I am enough ring

Self-love jewelry is a current trend that people view with varying levels of approval. Some people think it's weird or "feminist" for a woman to buy herself a self-love jewelry item. Other people believe it's "sad" when a lady buys jewelry for herself. Then there's the portion of the world that truly gets it! Self-love jewelry isn't a feminist statement, an act of desperation, or a weird fetish. It's a statement that simply says this: I love myself even if no one else does. I will commit to myself, and I will gift myself as well. 

 I am Enough Ring

What Is Self-Love Jewelry?

Self-love jewelry can be any item that someone buys for herself. A woman can go out and buy a $2,000 diamond necklace for her own neck and call it a self-love item. However, the term "self-love jewelry" usually refers to jewelry that makes bold statements of self-love. The items are often inexpensive, but consumers can certainly find pricey ones if it floats their boats to do so. The jewelry comes in silver, gold, tungsten, diamond, and much more. I'm a simple girl with skin allergies. So I prefer my jewelry to be crafted of hypoallergenic silver or stainless steel and not the least bit flashy.

purity ring
The most common self-love jewelry items are rings. These rings have statements on them such as "I Am Enough," "I Am Worthy," "True Love Will Wait," "I Will Wait," "Purity," and so on. 

Celibacy and purity rings are self-love rings because of what the vows represent. They represent a commitment to oneself to accept nothing but the highest and purest forms of love in the future. They also symbolize a commitment to "God." Thus, they're also God-love rings. Such commitments can be made at any time in a person's life, and they would certainly justify the purchase of a purity ring.

purity ring

Perhaps the most interesting self-love ring on the market is the one that has the entire Serenity Prayer on it. This is a great item for a recovering codependent in the world. It reminds the wearer that she must focus on God and herself and not worry about the situations or people she can't change.

serenity prayer ring

My Take on Self-Love Jewelry

I'm all for it, and I think people should love on themselves a whole lot more. I've been thinking about buying myself a ring for a while now. To be honest, I want all the self-love rings in the post. But I can only choose one right now, and it will have to be the one that carries the statement I want to express the most. I'll be wearing the one I get for a very long time. 

**All images are from the ads of Amazon.com products and are not the property of Timiarah S. Visitors can find the links to such items throughout the blog post.**

Celebrating Celibacy

*An excerpt from a random author's musings*

"Celibacy is a wonderful thing for a woman. It serves as a protector for a goofy woman who only lies down with folks she "loves" but then settles without receiving any commitment. It's a type of spiritual purification for a woman who knows that she needs to stay pure for her spiritual gifts to resharpen. It also returns the self-esteem and self-respect to a woman who loses them when she falls for a lie or chases an illusion. 

No, the woman can't erase the past. She can't do anything about what other people may or may not think about her in general or the poor decisions she made in her past. She can't get the little piece of herself back that was manipulooted. But she can feel good about herself that she is now celibate again. 

As far as feeling guilty and allowing others to shame her... NOPE. She doesn't feel guilty, and she refuses to be shamed. Only one entity can judge her for whatever she may or may not have done. Only one entity has a Heaven or Hell to put her in. That same entity grants mercy and forgiveness for the dumb things people do while they're still learning. 

We all live and learn. Apparently, she still needed to learn another lesson after her previous six-year celibacy run. Some people are a little denser than others when it comes to matters of the heart. And for her, it was a matter of the heart. It's always a matter of the heart. That's why it didn't bother her in the least to return to celibacy... forever if necessary. She never cared much about having relations other than to create life or to express love. She can do without it... forever. 

She won't ever sell herself short again or accept anything less than what she deserves. D is a dime a dozen. Even if it's good, it isn't worth a damn without the commitment and mutual love. If it's not good, well, that's even worse. 

Love, care, and commitment are what she deserves. She is worthy of such things. She is good enough. She is valuable enough. She'll have all of those next time (with a healthy person, of course), or she'll have nothing. It's fine either way because she has learned to enjoy and appreciate her alone time just fine. 

1 year, 1 month, and counting...

She's eager to beat her own six-year record, even though she'll be old as crap by then."

We All Have a Purpose

 Everyone has a God-given purpose in life and a reason for being here. No matter who we are, there's something we're supposed to be doing, something that not only glorifies the Creator but serves His people. 

Sometimes, we get put into certain situations repeatedly as "training" to prepare us to serve our purpose. The funny thing about purpose is that we sometimes don't listen to our callings. Our own imaginations and our fleshly desire for worldly blessings sometimes steer us the wrong way. We sometimes decide that we want to be this or we should do that, and then we go on these off-path journeys to try to force our own visions to come true. All the while, our true purpose is like, "Um... what are you doing? Where are you going? I trained you for this, but you're reaching for that. Please take a seat and pray ASAP." 

It happens. The world is a distracting place, and sheep tend to wander off when unattended, lol. 

When we begin to serve our true purpose, it never feels like we're going against the grain spiritually. Yes, we have haters, opposers, scoffers, and people who outright refuse to see us as anything other than who we may have been in the past. But spiritually, there's a sense of peace in knowing that we're doing what we were supposed to be doing all along.  

*If the topics of "God," faith, and spirituality offend you, then this might not be the blog for you to read. Those topics will be showing up frequently here, right along with the other topics I discuss.*

Tricky Trauma

Trauma is a tricky thing. Sometimes, we think we've "dealt with" a specific traumatic event, and then we find out years later that we haven't really dealt with it at all because it was much too painful. Then we end up making really dumb decisions in an attempt to close that wound our way. Even worse, the dumb choices we make to try to soothe ourselves from one traumatic experience can open the door to a new traumatic experience... or two.

There are many predators in the world, and unfortunately, our vulnerability draws them to us. If we're not careful, those predatory personalities can totally take advantage of our trauma and cause additional trauma while they're at it. Then we're left dealing with the new trauma, the old trauma, and the shame or guilt of erring spiritually and not being who we were created to be. 

There's a constant battle going on between goodness and evil. We can't ever forget that or allow ourselves to get so wrapped up in a self-directed mission that we blind our own eyes to the battle and get whooped. 

It's pretty tough sometimes just to live, survive, and try to be happy in this life. We don't always do the right thing. Fortunately, falling short is human nature, and we have a merciful Savior who knows that and provides the grace to make it through. Every day we open our eyes is a whole new chance for us to get it right. It ain't over 'til it's over. Just because you lose a battle in 2020 doesn't mean you'll lose the same battle in 2021.