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Review of Payoneer: NEVER USE PAYONEER!

Contractors and freelancers have to have some way to get paid. Thus, they use services such as Cash App, Payline, Stripe, and so on. They do...

Mini Movie Reviews: "Wonder Woman 1984" and "Promising Young Woman"

I was never much of a Wonder Woman fan, but the trailer for "Wonder Woman 1984" still compelled me to watch it. Why? Well, because it's Wonder Woman 1984, and the 80s era is my favorite. I just wanted to get a little fix of the 80s for 2.5 hours. I didn't have much faith that I would enjoy the movie, however.

The flick turned out to have an excellent plot, though. The moral of the story is to be very careful what you wish for.  We sometimes pine away so desperately for the things we don't have, that we lose sight of what we do have. Then we lose our most precious possessions in pursuit of what we think we want. 

The entire movie revolved around the concept of making wishes and having to pay the piper when he comes to collect. I liked it because I thought it had some deep concepts. The movie also had a lot of action in it, and I got to see Wonder Woman in some pretty cool suits. I was a little disappointed that they didn't insert a gigantic vintage Conion or Lasonic boombox somewhere in the flick. Still, they made up for it by inserting a classic Lynda Carter for a guest appearance. 

I'll give it 3.5 stars for its food for thought. Wonder Woman fans might enjoy it a little more than I did, but it's definitely worth a watch. 

"Promising Young Woman" is about a woman who experienced trauma in high school and chose to handle it in a devious way. She chose the path of vengeance instead of choosing the paths of forgiveness and perseverance. Though she chose a path I don't agree with, I still got a kick out of some of the antics in this black comedy/ thriller. I chose to watch it because it was unique. It was different from all the other holiday-soaked theater offerings that have been coming out lately. 

The movie did a splendid job of keeping me interested and wondering what was going to happen next. It had a bit of a feminist feel and somewhat of a vigilante spirit, but it was quite entertaining. You definitely won't be bored if you check it out, and you'll get an interesting surprise at the end. I give it four stars for the originality and the scorned-trauma-survivor perspective. The way they pulled this off with a hint of comedy laced into it was ingenious.  

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Be Mindful of the Enemy

An excerpt from somebody's book: 

"The worst kind of enemy is the one who comes under the guise of a friend or "loved one." It's one thing for a person to say, "I don't like you. I hate you. You repulse me. Get the hell away from me. I wish you nothing but bad fortune." It's quite another thing for a person to get close to you and touch you but then fail to disclose their hatred of you. 

Personally, I like my enemies to be honest and forthcoming. Unfortunately, honesty isn't the enemy's forte. Many people in the world have malice toward other people, and hell has blessed them with the gift of hiding it with a smile. Encountering these kinds of people is worse for women because we're emotional creatures. Men can engage in "physical relations" with people they vehemently hate. Most women can't. The whole reason we engage in "physical relations" is that we have love for the other person. Men, for the most part, have "physical relations" to fulfill a physical need. It's very difficult for a woman to do such things without having feelings. I'm not saying that all women are incapable of having meaningless relations, but many are. On the other hand, men can do it repeatedly, and that makes women super-susceptible to being targeted by narcissistic men. These men have nothing but hatred in their hearts for the women they bed and wed, but they have a charming hell-blessing that allows them to disguise it

This makes it hard for a woman who's looking for mutual love to thrive. It seems like we always have to watch our backs, keep our guard up, and observe new relationships for quite some time before getting too involved. It's not impossible to find real love, but it's kind of challenging these days." 


Keep Your Heart Open

Heartache is a tricky thing, and human beings are not very good at handling tricky things. Some people try to help by telling you it'll get better or saying things like, "It just wasn't meant to be." Some people will try to "help" you by reiterating how much the other person didn't care about you, as if you didn't already know that. Some people try to exercise tough love by telling you to "Just get over it." Unfortunately, heartache doesn't work that way. It's not a light switch that we can shut off whenever we want to "get over" it. It's not anymore possible to force a heart to mend than it is to force a broken leg or a surgical incision to heal. The heart goes through the same stages: pain (tears), swelling (anger), oozing (depression), puss (more anger and self-blame), scabbing (acceptance), and eventual scarring and then healing.  

It doesn't matter if the other person was a saint or a cheater, liar, thief, jerk, narcissist, a-hole, or some other type of unscrupulous individual. Rejection always feels the same. No, as a matter of fact, sometimes rejection from a "bad" person feels worse because deep down we know it's someone who didn't even deserve our love in the first place. So then there's the double whammy of being disappointed in ourselves too, for letting such a wicked person hurt us. We feel stupid for being kind to someone who had a heart of coal and naive for believing they could ever love us. It's pretty painful stuff. 

No matter what the situation is, heartache is still on the table after it's all said and done. The people who get left behind are the people who have to deal with it. No one can tell them how long to take to heal. No one can tell them to "Just get over it." It'll happen in time. One should never try to force the heart to heal before it's ready.

To the brokenhearted people, including myself, I say this: Don't rush to "get over it," but don't wallow in it forever either. Every minute of your life that you spend hurting over someone who broke your heart is one less minute you get to enjoy life. Do what you gotta do. Eat ice cream. Watch movies. Exercise. Cry and then laugh. But always keep your heart open. You will meet your other half one day, and that person will need access to that beautiful heart of yours. Don't let unappreciative people and bad seeds make you shut yourself off from true love. They'll win if you do. 

The Disadvantages of Having Large Breasts

Someone asked me why I would even consider getting my infamous tatas reduced. My answer was as follows: "There is absolutely no benefit to having extremely large breasts, especially if you're a small-framed woman." In fact, I can think of 11 negatives to having them. That is not me or my tatas in the picture, by the way. It's a Nigerian woman who blew up on Instagram three years ago for her massive breasts. I can only imagine what her back feels like. 

1. Men Don't Want to Get to Know Us

Men don't want to get to know us as people when we have gigantic breasts. They only want to know our breasts. They want to know what they look like under our shirts or what they feel like in their hands. We could have amazing personalities and be the most loving persons in the world, but they will only view us in a sexual way. They'll rarely look at us as wife or girlfriend material because most of them automatically assume that we are loose or easy just because we have large breasts. As if that has anything to do with who we are as people.

2. Other Women Hate Us

Other women usually hate us because of the way men act around us. They often think we're hoes, or we're "parading around in front of their husbands/boyfriends" on purpose with our big boobies to try to steal them away. Nope. We're just minding our own business. The men are being dogs all on their own. 

3. They Cause Pain and Discomfort

Big boom-booms are notorious for causing a wealth of problems up to and including back pain, shoulder pain, neck pain, rashes, shoulder cuts, posture problems, spinal disarray, and more. I've had my run-ins with all such problems, and that's the primary reason I'm going to be getting the reduction procedure. 

4. You Can't Play Sports

Have you ever tried to play tennis or basketball or do jumping jacks or rope jumping with 10 pounds of flesh bouncing around? It isn't pretty. Football? Forget about it. 

5. You Have Trouble Finding Bras

It's hard enough to find a bra when you just have a large cup size. Being small around the torso with a large cup size makes it very difficult to find the right bras. If I'm lucky, I'll find one bra in my size for like $1,000 at some department store 50 miles away. Otherwise, I have to order them off the internet, and they don't fit half the time when I do that. 

6. Your Clothing Selection Is Limited

A busty woman can never wear whatever she wants to wear. Things like lingerie and bathing suits and "summer dresses" are almost unheard of. There's a world of stuff that we just can't fit. Even if we do manage to cram our boobies into the item, it doesn't look attractive at all. It looks very awkward. We either get breast camel toes on the sides, or they get smushed down and look like whole bean bag chairs under our shirts. 

7. They Sag Ungodly

Gravity is a b*tch, and when we have extremely large breasts, the weight makes them drop down like two bowling balls hanging from our necks on a rubber band. 

8. They're a Safety Hazard

Big boobs can get caught in a conveyor belt if we work in a warehouse. They can also suffocate our mates or our infant children. If we're not careful, we can slap some folks in the face/neck/chest (depends on their height) by accident and risk being charged with assault. 

9. It's Hard to Sleep on Your Stomach

It's very difficult to get a good night's sleep when we have huge boom-booms. It actually hurts to lie on them. 

10. They Get Stank

The breasts are the first part of the body to start sweating when we work out or work at our jobs really hard. That feels really stank. 

11. Barnum & Bailey Tries to Hire You

The circus often mistakes us for participants when they're in town. Hell, they've even tried to recruit us a few times. 

Hopefully, this little half-serious-and-half-playful piece will help you understand the dilemma of having large breasts from a sufferer's perspective. For me, they've been nothing but trouble. Since I don't have a village of children to breastfeed, and I already have airbags in my car, I don't see much use for them at all. 

The Toxic Narcissist and Empath Tango


Toxic relationships are games, and each participant's objective is to win. In a narcissist-codependent or narcissist-empath relationship, the narc wants to "win" by completely destroying the target. The target wants to "win" by changing the narcissist back into something that he never was in the first place. She wants to make him into a loving, caring, and empathetic person. Both parties do it for the wrong reason, which is to validate themselves.

The narc would feel powerful just knowing that he caused someone so much emotional pain that she could no longer function properly. The codependent would feel important if she could turn a frog into a prince or a devil into an angel. If they could only "win," they could experience that sense of control they never had when they were children. 

These dysfunctional entanglements often go on for years, back and forth, break up and makeup, no contact and re-contact, etc. Nobody ever wins, though. The longer it goes on, the more both parties lose. The empath is the one who loses the most, however. She loses self-esteem, self-respect, confidence, hope, trust, and sometimes even faith in humanity. If she plays the game too long, she runs the risk of being stuck in it forever. 

It's not too late for her, though. As long as she has an ounce of hope (for herself) and a mustard seed of faith, she can get out. She can heal, and she can find true love one day. All she has to do is stop playing the game. 

How does one stop playing the game, though? 

It's really not as complicated as people make it. It's just like a game of catch where two people throw a ball back and forth to each other... over and over and over again. If one of them doesn't want to play the game anymore, all that person has to do is stop throwing the ball back. Put it down instead of throwing it back and simply walk away. Game over.